Forever In Our Hearts

Thursday’s service was a night of tears. It was time to say goodbye. When we walked into the church, there was a melancholy quiet. We sat down, and waited for the service to start. It began with Pastor Nelson saying how grateful he was for our help. I hope he knows we were just as grateful to them for opening their hearts to us so quickly, and allowing us the experience to serve them. And that’s when, not five minutes into the service, I had already begun to cry.

Worship began with Josue’s powerful prayers. Although we couldn’t understand the Spanish, we could understand the Spirit. God was with us, as he had been throughout the entire trip. The young people of the church performed a drama for us about Jesus’ life. Knowing how hard they worked on it to show us how much they care about us was just so touching.

When the service ended, they had us all stand up front so everyone could say goodbye. In a way it kind of felt like I was at a funeral. Tears everywhere, goodbye’s and God bless you’s all over the place. But we kept reminding each other that even if we didn’t see each other in this life, we would find one another in the next.

Once everyone had kind of shuffled out, we ate dinner with the pastor’s family and others who had helped us a lot during this trip. We all tried not to think of it as the “last supper,” and had a really good time fellowshipping with one another. Besides, at this point we still had one more morning to work together.

Then Friday morning came. As we gathered around the breakfast table, we all tried not to think about the inevitable, and tried to focus instead on our morning in Tazumal, the little suburb we had visited two days before.



Jackie and Jeffery

At Tazumal we performed our last clinic, finished giving out toothbrushes, and entertained the children while their parents were busy talking with the doctor. And of course we evangelized. I had the enjoyment of throwing a Frisbee with little David, a five year old kid that had way more energy than I did. He never got tired, and didn’t quit until he was thirsty.

It’s funny how your perspective than change so quickly. Normally I never want anything to do with the children; they don’t listen to me, they’re loud, and I’m just not good at kids. That is until God intervenes. Because I’ve been working with the children of El Salvador more in the past week than I have ever worked with the children in my church at home.

The best part? I had fun doing it.

That just goes to show that God can do anything if you let Him work through you.

We ate a quiet lunch with those who had become our close friends. For Bailey and me, it was hardest saying goodbye to Gloria, Josue, and Marlon. Not only had Gloria and Josue been our translators, but they have become closer friends to us than I thought possible. And Marlon had always been there when we needed him.



Gloria, Josue, Me, and Bailey

Going into this trip, I never thought I would have a hard time leaving. Becoming friends with teenagers just like us, hundreds of miles away has been such a blessing. I don’t regret a single moment I served in El Salvador. As sad as I am to leave, I’m excited to see what God has in store for us next, whether that’s coming back to El Salvador (I hope so!), or discovering someplace new.

We’re home now. Exhausted from being in an airplane/sitting in an airport for 15 hours. I feel like I’ve been away for a lifetime. There’s so much more to share with you all.

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom… For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40: 28, 31

Tazumal and Our Day of Rest

Yesterday, we spent the morning at Tazumal, another suburb of Chalchuapa. Although we were told it was dangerous, I didn't feel unsafe. We had lock up our bags at the church there, because they didn't want the people to know we had anything "expensive." We went in three groups of about eight. One to each house, criss-crossing down the dirt roads.

One of the poorer areas around here, the streets ran with dirty water. Jackie said she watched an elderly man take his bowl and scoup up some of the water for hydration. As we walked along, greeting everyone who would open their doors to us, we saw both desolation and hope. The first family we went to talk to, the woman of the house had been a Christian before, but the struggles she faced had hardened her heart. She allowed us to present the gospel, but she wouldn't accept what we had to say. There just isn't a whole lot you can say in a situation like that.

Another couple, Marlon and Anna greeted us with open arms. When we said we wanted to share the Gospel with them, they immedietely said that they were already Christians. From the evangelism I've done, a lot of folks say that they're Christians, but you just don't see it. I saw it in them. They had a joy that others in that area lacked. We prayed with them and for them before heading to the next house.

 

After spending a hot morning evangelising, we were given an opportunity to rest. We drove to a resort down by the beach and were able to spend all evening and morning relaxing. Although a few of us felt a little guity about having so much after witnessing so little, I think we all enjoyed the change of pace.

 

Tonight is our last night in Chalchuapa, and our last worship service with the church. Tomorrow we'll spend the morning in Tazumal again, evangelizing, giving out toothbrushes, and working with a medical clinic.

I feel like I've been in El Salvador for a lifetime. We've really made this place our home the past few nights we've stayed here. The friendships I've made run deep, and I hope they will last a lifetime. I'm not good at goodbye's. I avoid them at all costs. Hopefully this is a "see you later." I'm not sure how to say goodbye, so I'll just trust God. Beside, we have still have two full days.

All the Children of the World

For the past two days I've been hanging out with the children of El Salvador. For me, this is stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm not good with children, but here, it's different. I can't speak their language, and they can't speak mine, but they try to understand me, and I try to understand them. We're equally curious about each other.

Yesterday, I went to a school to hand out toothbrushes and toothpaste. When we arrived, all the children started yelling and screaming. They were just soo excited! I made sure to shake a lot of the children's hands, and, in my broken Spanish, ask for their name. One little girl wouldn't let go of my arm, and I had to pry her off of me. It was adorable.

We said a few words about ourselves, sang and danced (which I think was just so they could make fun of the Americans), and presented the gospel. We think about 25 kids accepted Jesus. How awesome is that?

They got into lines and we just gave them a toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste, but they couldn't have been more grateful. Sure, just like any child, they want a different color, or a different design, but they were grateful, nonetheless.

Today, we went to a suburb of Chalchuapa, Buneo Vista. It’s one of the poorer areas around here, and that was certainly evident in the long line of people who lined up for the free clinic. While some people from our team went to evangelize, Bailey and I stayed back and played with the children. You think they would understand Uno, but after about an hour of trying to teach them, I just let them lay down cards and throw dirt all over them.

After awhile, I realized that a lot of the children didn’t know their colors. With the Uno deck, we practiced rojo, azul, verde, and amarillo. These children weren’t little either. The youngest was five, and the oldest who I was teaching was ten. I tried to teach them their numbers (0-9), but they lost interest, so we went back to colors.

 

We did another children’s program today too. Clowns and everything in the sweltering heat. I wasn’t a clown this time, but I got to sit with a little girl named Betsy. She was the cutest little thing. Five years old, but so tiny! When the girls broke the piñata, she was running all over the place, happy as can be. It melts my heart.

As I'm writing this, I realize we only have three more days of work here. I can't imagine leaving this place; especially leaving knowing I might not ever return. It's amazing how deep friendships can become in a few short days, not only with the people of Chalchuapa, but with the people of my team also. No cultural barriers at work.

Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Gloria's Perspective

Last night I was feeling a little down, and I might have left you feeling a little down too. When I got back to my room after writing, Gloria, the pastor’s daughter, was waiting for us because we invited her to spend the night at our hotel. She noticed I was a little down, and asked about it. And I told her I just wasn’t feeling anything.

This is what she said:

This is a different trip, a different time with different people and group dynamics. God is working here, but it might not be like he did two years ago. It’s not necessary to feel like you’re doing anything, because faith isn’t about feeling, it’s about doing, and it’s about a relationship. God is moving in Chalchuapa, whether we feel it or not.

Gloria and me/awkward sunlight picture.

She also said we inspire the church here. We gave up our lives at home, and we worked to raise money to come here and serve. We inspire them because of our love for them. We are the princes and princesses, part of God’s army, forever loved by Him.

 

Gloria touched my heart last night, and made me realize that I just need to keep loving, keep serving, and always smile, because God loves us, and we have found a love for his people.

Persevere

Happy Sunday!

Guess where I spent my day? Why a wedding, of course. And guess what else? I walked on stage, with a guitar in hand, and sat down and played, while the rest of the team sang.

In front of 100 El Salvadorians.

Talk about exiting your comfort zone. The morning consisted of the service and the wedding, and then we spent half the afternoon at the reception.

When we got back to the hotel and "dressed down," we went to visit the Mayan ruins. Although interesting, there wasn't a history lesson in store for me today. Of course it doesn't help that everything was in Espagnol.

So basically today has been a chill day. Tomorrow we'll start on construction for the church again, and do a free clinic with a doctor from San Salvador.

I don't really want to write this, but I will anyway. I'm feeling a little down right now. I guess I just had all these great ideas of all the compassion I would feel for these people. I don't feel anything. I want to help them, but I feel like I'm not really doing much. I love discovering a new culture and making new friends, but I'm not connecting with anyone outside the church. Everyone is expecting me to come home changed and so crazy on fire for what God is doing. But I just don't feel anything. So for now I'll put others first, and trust God to do the rest. Whatever that may be.

I'm sure I'm just tired. We'll get more rest tonight, and tomorrow's a new day! I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Bound Together (Guest Post)

"And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 2:14

Something amazing is happening here. We are seeing two different churches from two different countries speaking two different languages serving together as one. Language barriers are being broken down, and humility abounds here between the two groups. And it is a beautiful thing to see.

Yesterday we had a big party for the children of the church and the surrounding neighborhood. It was complete with pinatas, candy, toys, puppets, and even clowns. Most of the party was led and directed by the youth and young adults of the church. It was so inspiring to see these young people care, nurture, and just plain have fun with the children at the party. If you add in a few awkward American clowns, you get a pretty good picture of what the unity looked like. We were working together for God's purpose.

This unity is definitely an answer to prayer. Before we left, I asked my mentor to pray that we would have team unity. Close-mindedly, I was only asking that for the 13 of us from Oakland. But as He so often does, God answered my prayer in an unexpected way.  Our team is now made up of the 13 of us plus the people of the church here in Chalchuapa. I believe this is what God intended all along.

When we were preparing for this trip, we learned something important. I guess it is pretty common for American mission trip teams to think that it is their job to be the heroes. There is the notion that we are going to come with all of our mighty resources and rescue these poor people who have nothing. But early on at one of our team meetings, we learned that we are supposed to do ministry WITH them, not FOR them. They don't need us to save them, they just need our support.

Bound together in unity by the same love for the same God. Beautiful. Inspiring. Perfect indeed.

Jackie

All Over Town

Things to check off my bucketlist: walk the streets of El Salvador as a clown.

This was a definate step out of your comfort zone moment for me. I am not used to being around children, and acting like a clown in front of children who you can't really communicate with was the last thing I thought I'd be doing. Of course, it was pointed out to me that it wasn't the worst possible thign I could be doing.

Watching the kids reactions to the stories and the music was so precious. Bailey and I were talking, and we find more often than not that culture isn't an obstacle. Three children accepted Jesus into their lives today. In all the chaos of the moment, there was peace in that little circle. They were sincere.

After the party, we were asked by Gloria, the pastors daughter, to help set up for a wedding that we're attending tomorrow. I was suprised when my father agreed to let Bailey and me leave our group and go off with two natives our age to gather supplies. That was the original plan, at least.

We ended up driving around El Salvador. They wanted to show us the town, and embracing the spirit of adventure, we agreed. Our first stop was a Catholic church adorned with gold. Literally, from floor to ceiling, back to front, gold was everywhere. Afterwards, we went to a park. Interestingly enough, it was way nicer than any park back home. There were flowers and trees, and so many people! All staring at us.

Our next stop was a lake. We learned from Gloria that the lake used to be a place to swim, but after a hurricane a while back, it was so polluted there weren't even fish living there. That was when she also pointed out the knocked down houses, "from the wind," she said.

Although Bailey and I were somewhat hesitant when leaving with Gloria and her friend Marlon, we were certainly glad we did. We were afraid that the language barrier would be a problem, but Gloria is very fluent in English, and with her help we were able to converse with Marlon. The best part was that it felt no different from hanging out with friends back home.

One last thing:

 

His name is Salvador. He has truly stolen all our hearts. Not only is he one of the hardest workers on the team, that smile never leaves his face.

 

Dios te bendiga!



Evangelism/Construction

Waking up this morning was like taking a breath of fresh air – considering every breath we take is fresh air. The buildings are all open. With hardly any rain and no temperatures below 60, they can afford to not board up their houses like we do. When the bathroom was open, I decided it was my turn to get out of bed and start the day.

We ate breakfast at eight o’clock. It was gloriously not-early for a high school student. We ate fried plantains, which are a lot like bananas, scrambled eggs with peppers, onions, and a type of hot sauce, and refried beans. The El Salvadorians eat well, my friend.

Our job today was to begin construction, which actually turned out to be mostly demolition. I couldn’t believe the turnout of young adults that showed up to break up concrete, rock, and gravel. Not only did they work hard, but they smiled the entire time! I could never have done half of what they accomplished today.

In the morning, I started out with the evangelism team. I really didn’t know what to expect. Like at all. We walked from door to door, asking people if they were Christians. If they said that they had a church home, we prayed for them before moving on. We shared the gospel with two homes, both of which afterwards said they had already accepted Christ as Lord, but just didn’t have enough time for church. So that was interesting.

Although I’ve only seen a living room or two, the houses here are about the size of your average kitchen. Which means the kitchen is about the size of your average bathroom. Like I said, it’s mostly open. Some don’t have complete roofs. The roofs that they do have are tin with barbed wire around the top so thieves don’t dig through the ceiling. On the outside, it looks like one building. They’re all connected. When we would talk to people, the screen door would remain locked, with bars across to keep out intruders.

I’ll tell you about sharing with the EvangeCube. I said one sentence, the translator repeated. What I didn’t expect was how attentive the couple I shared with was. If I tried that in the U.S, I might get two or three words out before someone shouted it was a violation of their freedom and we were forcing religion on them.

Not only that, but they’re right when they say God is already where you’re going to serve. We didn’t bring God here. He’s been in El Salvador all along. We won’t take him with us when we leave. There’s a movement here. You can feel it, and that’s something you can’t say about the U.S.

We ate lunch at someone’s house. Everyone who was working construction was there with us. It was a great Fiesta! We were served beef with rice, green vegetables, tortillas, and fruit. So far, all the meals here have been amazing.

We finished eating and got back to construction. It wasn’t just about the building process. Sure, everyone was focused and working hard, but there was more to it. It was about two churches coming together. There’s that “unity” word again. This is the first experience I’ve had where I felt like every move we make is for a bigger purpose.  

 

Currently, I’m sitting in the courtyard of our hotel, watching the sun set and enjoying the spring breeze. We have another church service in about an hour. Right now I feel very unready for the rest of the trip. You’d think after the first day everything would be easier, but I’m more nervous than ever. I’m constantly praying for peace. I want to do this thing right, and I don’t want to regret a missed opportunity.

Pray for us?

Una Iglesia

My day began at two o’clock in the morning. As I struggled to pull my thoughts into reality, my heart began to skip a beat as I realized that today was the day. Off we were going to be to El Salvador. I didn’t really feel anything but an upset stomach as we boarded our first plane. I couldn’t believe that it was only eight when we landed at the Houston airport and rushed to our connecting flight taking us to San Salvador.

When I wobble off a plane, the first thing I do is smell the air. And El Salvador reminded me of Florida. Fresh, warm, and tropical. We went through customs with few difficulties and blinked into the sunlight to find Milton smiling at us.

Left to right: Andria, Rene, Milton

Milton is a native El Salvadorian through and through. Always smiling, and greeting everyone with a firm handshake, Milton is the one planning our work down here. Our luggage was loaded onto an old school bus as we took a few deep breaths to appreciate the warm weather. From San Salvador, Chalchuapa was about three hours away. We all took lovely naps as the warm breeze washed over us.

At this point in the whole fiasco of life, I was very unsure that I wanted to be here. I felt like we had left home days ago, and all I wanted was to crawl into bed. Not to mention I was still feeling very sick at this point.

 

When we arrived at our hotel, thirteen hours after we had crawled out of bed, I was just so overwhelmed.

We got to the church, and Bailey and I sat down in the middle section. As the locals wandered in, saying hi to all the old timers of our group, I was feeling pretty left out. I just couldn’t help wondering why I was sitting there. What was the point of all this?

I was introduced as my father’s daughter. Hugs all around. Names tossed at me like potatoes. The pastor went up front and asked us to stand. Music began, and we all immediately recognized the song. Hearing the Spanish translation was a huge wake up call. I began singing along (in English, of course), and clapped to the off beat with everyone else.

 

And that was it. We were one. We are one.

One church.

In those few minutes, I went from being an outsider to a part of the family. What I didn’t realize when I walked into the church was that I already was a part of the family. If we can’t be united, then there’s nothing fight for. We are the body of Christ.

Jackie put it best during our devotional time. She said that through our worship tonight she saw a glimpse of heaven. Everyone praising God, singing “holy, holy, holy.” Two languages with one purpose.

Unity. 

12 Hours

That's right. There are twelve hours before we fly out. Our bags are packed (mostly), our Bible's are secured in our carry-ons, and I am so full of butterflies right now. If I ever get to sleep tonight it will be a true miracle.

I was going to type up some big long truth about how I'm really feeling, but I really don't know. I go from sky high excited to so jittery I can barely think straight. Right now my biggest fear is my luggage not arriving in El Salvador with me. I'm also a little scared about going through customs. The only thing you can do for that is pray!

So there's not a lot I have to say right now. But keep reading, because the best is yet to come. See you in El Salvador.

"Okay, God. I'm Yours."

In preparation for this trip, I've spent so much time preparing my heart. I've been trying to reconnect myself with God's voice. All this time I've been trying to prove to myself that I was good enough, smart enough, compassionate enough.

In trying to be closer to God I was really taking him out of the equation, trying to rely on my own strength to get me there. I was trying to do all this preparation on my own... until I realized that I can never be ready.

I will never be prepared. No matter how hard I try, no matter what action I take to be good enough, enough will never be enough. I need to stop relying on my own faith, my own strength and integrity. I need my full trust and dependency in Him. That's the way to be "ready." But what if I can't do it?

What if I say "Okay, God. I'm Yours." and I still can't get my butt out of the drivers seat? Life has just been so chaotic lately, and I've been so overwhelmed with senior year and the mission trip. I've been focusing on what I want, thinking that if I keep an open mind it will translate into what God wants. I realized that that can't happen unless I give Him full control of my life.

I thought I did, I thought I did once. But it's clear to see through how I treat others and how I put what I think is most important first that I most definitely have not. No matter what action I take to ready myself for the future, when it comes, I'll still be too overwhelmed to function unless I give my future to God. So isn't it obvious? Then why is it so hard to let go of control?

He's imagined so much more for me than I could ever imagine for myself. And He's imagined more for you than the life you're living now.

He met us halfway by dying for us, and now it's our turn to walk into His arms and allow Him to take care of us.

To Build and Plant

As the day of our departure is quickly arriving, I find myself more and more nervous. We had our last ever meeting last night. How is it possible?

We've begun working in our Spiritual Journals given to us by DELTA Ministries. Every day there's a Scripture passage and a place for journaling your thoughts and prayers. The first one has really stuck with me. It's from Jeremiah 1:4-10:

"Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.' Then I said, 'Alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, Because I am a youth.' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say, I am a youth, because everywhere I send you, you shall go, and all that I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you,' declares the Lord. Then the Lord stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me, 'Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. See, I have appointed you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.'"

As we begin packing and as this trip becomes more real (and some of us start panicking, some of us meaning me), I just pray that we can have the experience that God is planning for us, not the one we plan for ourselves. I am going to be honest here, I just feel like everything is so focused on what we are going to do and see and how we are going to come home changed, it's just a lot of pressure. Don't we need to be focusing on what God is going to do through us? And we are, but I pray that we don't get in each other's way of "changing lives."

Last night as we sat down for our very last meeting, we began putting together care packages for the children. A notebook, some candy, a few crayons, and a toy. With each Ziplock bag that I sealed I just couldn't help wondering what kind of home live the child who received this has. What am I supposed to say to someone who seemingly has nothing?

We leave in eleven days. This song has been playing in my head all week. Give me Your eyes and ears and words to say to show your love to the people of Chalchuapa. 

Pray for us?