"Okay, God. I'm Yours."

In preparation for this trip, I've spent so much time preparing my heart. I've been trying to reconnect myself with God's voice. All this time I've been trying to prove to myself that I was good enough, smart enough, compassionate enough.

In trying to be closer to God I was really taking him out of the equation, trying to rely on my own strength to get me there. I was trying to do all this preparation on my own... until I realized that I can never be ready.

I will never be prepared. No matter how hard I try, no matter what action I take to be good enough, enough will never be enough. I need to stop relying on my own faith, my own strength and integrity. I need my full trust and dependency in Him. That's the way to be "ready." But what if I can't do it?

What if I say "Okay, God. I'm Yours." and I still can't get my butt out of the drivers seat? Life has just been so chaotic lately, and I've been so overwhelmed with senior year and the mission trip. I've been focusing on what I want, thinking that if I keep an open mind it will translate into what God wants. I realized that that can't happen unless I give Him full control of my life.

I thought I did, I thought I did once. But it's clear to see through how I treat others and how I put what I think is most important first that I most definitely have not. No matter what action I take to ready myself for the future, when it comes, I'll still be too overwhelmed to function unless I give my future to God. So isn't it obvious? Then why is it so hard to let go of control?

He's imagined so much more for me than I could ever imagine for myself. And He's imagined more for you than the life you're living now.

He met us halfway by dying for us, and now it's our turn to walk into His arms and allow Him to take care of us.