Defining Moment

Throughout my entire trip, I was looking for one defining moment. One thing to bring back and say "there, I did it. Now I am completely changed by God." It didn't happen.

I overheard a teammate say that this trip was so perfect, no complications, that she hoped the next missions trip I went on wouldn't seem like a downer. I've been blaming my "no defining moment" on the fact that nothing went wrong the entire trip, not taking any credit for my attitude.

Of course, I think I shaped up. It's kind of hard to be grumpy for ten days when you're around so many amazing, God-filled people all the time. But I was still looking for that moment. I want to be able to share with everyone exactly when I felt God calling me His child. Exactly when I knew He existed. When I knew He was calling me to share the Gospel with everyone who's path crossed mine.

But of course, God is always routing us on when we talk about Him to His children. And He knows He exists, and He knows I know He exists. He also knew this before I did: there wasn't one defining moment. Every single second of the trip, God was moving. He would have moved even without us there. God is all-powerful.

Is it possible that a heart can change in a moment? Absolutely. I've been witness to it on several occasions. However, it didn't work for me that way. The funny thing is it took me until now to realize it.

Every person on our trip was called there for a specific purpose in mind. We each had an individual role that God was calling us to fulfill.

I was pushed and shoved and forced to go to El Salvador because Gloria needed a friend. I didn't realize this, but I needed her too. I still do.

I guess my defining moment is continuing, and will continue until my last breath. Being who God wants you to be takes a lifetime. Literally. But you should know this. Even if you don't know what you believe, and you're struggling with your faith, God will still use you. Through each and every circumstance you face. We are always being changed by God. No matter how much you think you get it, He will show you something new if you take the time to listen to His voice and obey His commands.

Romans 8:28, 37-39 says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. But in all these things we overwhemingly conquer through Him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will e able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."